The Perfect MatchMaker

                       Dating Sites, Dating Commercials, Dating this, Dating that.
                            
     At one time I got sick of hearing that crap, now after experiencing it, I have learned my lesson, I messed up, I prayed for what I wanted not what God wanted, and you see now I am single. It was hell on earth, not saying being with him was, just how everything went, it wasnt a relationship from God, its why were not together, So I came across this little note, I hope you enjoy.

'A Womans heart should be so lost in God that he must seek him in order to find her'

“ Wait for a man that will put in the time, heart, & effort to pursue you. None of this whole “chasing around boys who don’t really like us and pine when they reject us” business. Wait for God to set you up with one who will put in time to win your heart. How can he do that though if you’re throwing it at him? Be secure enough in yourself and your Father that you don’t need to throw your heart around and give it away to any man who winks his eye at you. Be a woman, secure in God, deadly to the devil, feminine in strength, purity, and tenderness, and give your man a chance to be a man. Let the boys go who blow you off and expect you to let them walk all over you or just plain won’t put in effort to get to know you at all. Let them go, and position yourself as a woman satisfied in Herself & Her life. Give yourself to knowing God, give yourself to loving others, and your man will come alongside you. You will never have to strive to make him like you, to make him talk to you. He will be already a man in pursuit of your heart without your help.

                                        So my advice dont let society or your peers push you into dating, yes I was so excited to have my first boyfriend because it was everything I wanted and prayed for right down to the T, but after it was all over with, it wasnt from God, and I know this for a fact or we would still be together. God has somebody out there for me, and he has someone out there for you, trust me, and trust him. Im trusting God with everything I have its all I have left. Im not looking for a guy and im not worried about it, When God puts him in my life Im sure i'll know. My adivce Pray and make sure it is the  guy/girl that God has for you, and you'll know if it is or not. I thought relationships were a walk in the park, but boy was I wrong haha. Keep your head up if your single or looking, your heart needs to be of Gods Love before he'll send you somebody and when he does keep focused on him, dont loose sight of his love in the relationship. God will supply all your needs according to his glory, and his plan for you. We have to trust him and his timing, its all for his glory, he has our best interest. Dont let the world and peers presure you into dating or because it looks all good and fun from the outside, and because everybody else is dating  it takes work to make a good realtionship last, it'll be even easier when you wait for the ONE God has coming for you <3

'I will be treasured over all the earth'

God has written my Love Story, its just to be continued right now

                                                                on HIS plan for your mate.

                                after praying a great deal, and finally realizing I needed to let go and realize God just gave me what I wanted it was all a test with me and Trevor. I called him a few days ago  and thanked him for the 7months he gave me, I still will cherish him as a person and care for him, but right now were both ok with each other and were friends. After praying and talking to God and listening to people talk to me about the situation, I was tore up of course, but sitting in church sunday night I got this letter and I cried and cried and cried, like literal snot was coming out I was crying so much. It fianlly all made since.  God has a bigger and better plan for my life.

                                                                True Love Never Died.

                 'Everyone longs to give themselves completely to some - to have a deep soul relationship with another, to be loved by Me alone. I love you, my child until you discover that only in Me is your satisfaction to be found you will be not be capable of the perfect human relationship that I have planned for you. You will never be untied with another until you are united with Me- exclusive of anyone or anything else, exclusive of any other desires and longings. I want you to stop planning, stop wishing, and allow Me to give you the most thrilling plan existing- one that you cant imagine. I want you to have the best. Please allow Me to bring it to you- just keep watching Me, expecting the greatest thing- keep experiencing that satisfaction knowing that I am. Keep learning and listening to the things I tell you... you must wait. Don't be anxious. Don't worry. Don't look at the things others have gotten or I've given them. Don't look at the things you think you want. You just keep looking off and away up to Me, or you'll miss what I want to show you. And, then, when you're ready, I'll surprise you with a love far more wonderful than any would ever dream. You see, until you are ready and until the one I have for you is ready, I am working even this very minute to have both of you ready at the same time. Until you are both satisfied exclusively the love that exemplifies your relationship with Me... and this perfect love. And dear one, I want you to have the most wonderful love, I want you to see in the flesh a picture of your relationship with Me, and to enjoy materially and concretely the everlasting union of beautify and perfection and love that I offer you with Myself. Know I love you utterly. I am God Almighty. Believe and be satisfied.

 I cried so  much because The Love of the Father is all I need, its what WE all need, its crazy I even wrote a blog about his love, Its true, I was so blinded by Trevor and all his goodness and the joys of finally dating I let God out of my sight. So reading all this makes since to me, If God has MY man out there I'll get him when my heart is fullfilled with the love of God and God is ready for me to have my other half.  If God wants my heart all to himself than so be it, I have to realize that God has a plan for me, with or without a guy, and in Gods timing, and his will. I have to trust God and love him far beyond I ever have in my life. My life is all for God, My heart is all yours <3 

                          'You're a God who has all things, and still you want me'

Letting Go

                                                                Well here we go again. Tonight at work while eating a 3 meat and cheese flat bread I was thinking and saying aloud to myself 'God I need your help right now, what is your plan for me, moving on and letting go is the hardest thing ive ever done. So a few hours later I needed to use the restroom and while sitting there I was talking to myself aloud saying 'God letting go and trusting you is what I need to do, just help me and help me understand all this, no matter what happens your will has and will be done' So now Im here writing about Holding on and Letting go of the people we love and cherish the most and how to overcome all this.  & Most people think 'oh well you still talk about it you havent let go' Theres nothing wrong in talking about it.

                                   

                                                       Im still holding on and I cant let go, He told me to let go and move on! How can I move on from the guy Im suppose to be with? God whats going on? I dont wanna be hurt anymore, My heart cant take this pain, Im to much of an emotional wreck.. God are you here? Do you even care? This was my cry for help for about a month, I still question and still wonder whats going to happen. Letting go is one of the hardest things I have ever done in my life, honestly. I dont wanna fully say God is like let go forever, but  still love and forgive that person and have the heart of christ, but when the other person is like move on, go be with someone else, blah blah all that crap you get confused real fast, like I did, and felt lied to. So while sitting there in the bathroom at work my heart and mind got to thinking. Mind you guys, this isnt easy for me, I dont think its easy for anybody really. Possibly saying goodbye forever to the one person you waited for your whole life and giving them a love like no other makes me sick inside. I have my days where I see that same truck that came and picked me up every other weekend or I see a picture or have a memory come racing back and it makes me think why do I have to be alone I dont wanna be by myself forever I just cant do it. God whats your plan? What is your will?

                                            So sitting there I came to realize yes my situation is bad, but other people have it way worse than me, there are  familys that are broken and torn apart, some dont have a dad or mom, or death could have taken a boyfriend/girlfriend, or husband/wife. But I sat there and thought even though our situations are bad God has it way worse than anything. What do you mean? let me explain. This is how my mind thinks Im an overthinker, which isnt a bad thing ive decided. But God who has a heart bigger than the world, a love that we cant even imagine and who created us to love him and live a life full blown for him. So when we get to heaven and he calls us one by one to get up there and seeing his nailed pierced hands and the beauty from his face, and he has to say ' I did not no you, depart from me ' mind you a God who loves all of us and forgives us when we dont deserve it has to say that to his children, how do you think that makes him feel? Im sure it will tear his heart up, seeing his own children who he made in his own beauty go straight to hell he has to let go. He has given us a free will, and a choice to make the right choices and live a life for him .He doesnt want us to go to hell, by any means. But when we get there hes gonna have to let go of the people he loves most. Us! I cant even imagine how he can do it, I know for sure it makes the heart of God cry seeing his people do what they are doing now.

                  But my point, letting go of a relationship or friends for the time being and having a break to focus on God is a healthy thing to do, and if God wants you to have a relationship with that person HE will bring you back together, not facebook, not twitter, not texting, we just have to trust his judgement. Dont even let anybody hold you back from your calling. Letting go of friends, family or even a boyfriend/girlfriend is  way easier than what the Father will have to do one day. Look at the bigger picture, God already knows who were gonna date, marry, and be with forever, it shouldnt be hard to trust Jesus, but it is, we dont know the plans we dont know if well have that certain someone we want. All he wants is our trust and thats what we have got to do, im still struggling with it, yes. He wants us to come to him crying out for him to get closer and trust the will of God. Im a control freak, I was born a leader its why im having trouble with all this, I wanna control this, but I cant so Ive finally given up and given it to God. He isnt gonna stop until he has it all. I worship, I pray, I read and I ask for help, I cry out to God show me your will God, I know you already know what my furture holds just help me to trust you. God has never left us and he promised he never would. The storm is rough right now, but cry out to him and he will calm the seas. My God will supply all my needs according to him and his glory.

                        I would rather let go of relationships and friends even family. But I will never let go of the Love of Jesus I have, I dont want him to let go of me, and Im not letting go of him. God has our life and plan already in his hands, all he wants is trust and an understanding that what he has for us is way better than we can ever imagine. Dont Let Go. 

'You wont relent until you have it all. My heart is yours'

The Love of the Father

                                               I honestly get all my blog ideas from either thinking to much or sitting in the bathroom, its the truth. I have come to find out I am an over thinker and I have a very odd way of thinking. But this blog is gonna talk about The love of the father, meaning Jesus. Ive been thinking about what to say and it all hit me when I put my relationship 'love' up to the fathers love and this is what was layed on my heart.

                                           So when I was dating I felt a love like I never felt before it was like magical really, Ive always wanted to hold hands with a guy, have him hold me while watching a movie and having that first kiss. Love is a funny thing. While dating it kept my self esteem up and knowing that a guy finally loved me and wanted to be around me and take me out was something so special to me. I never thought a breakup would happen. Then it did... No more love, No more holding hands, No more of anything. Completly cut off from each other and It hurt, I needed him, I need him, I need that love, I need his company, I need what we had. But right now its not gonna happen, will it ever I cant say. But the love I had for him, He will never understand I could write all day and night letters of how I felt about him, and still yet it wouldnt describe how much love I had for him or what he meant to me. I fill empty sometimes knowing I cant just call him or know that were not together. I miss our love, at the time it was the only love I focused on, he was all I needed I didnt need friends, family, or anything I had him. But thats where I went wrong, we both went wrong when I knew better and I knew we were getting off track, His love was all I needed, He was all I needed. I believe he was placed in my life because God knew I needed a boost on my life and to know that there is a love out there for you, He helped me do alot of things I wasnt able to do like get my learners or license and just giving me the love he did for so long. I believe God is showing me I can do this, I may not need a guy right now or ever but I can overcome anything with  Gods help. I think hes just saying 'Hey Ashley you can do this, just trust me' right now thats all I can do.

                                                

                                                                My passion for him was out of this world, it really was, until August 18th, 2011 rolled around and I found out that my mistakes and our mistakes had finally took ahold of us.  While sitting in the bathtub last week over thinking things and letting my mind compare situations I sat there in the water and compared Our 'Love' to Gods Love, and obviously I knew who won my heart over, who always had my heart from the start. Like I said, I miss being in his arms, I miss feeling his love, I miss all that, but when I thought about it, God has always had me in his arms, he has never stopped loving me, or givin up on me, His love is always there for me to take in when I dont even deserve it. Yes a fleshly boyfriend/husband is always a plus but now that I dont have it at the moment, Im finally realizing who should have had my heart in the first place, I feel a comfort,  a love and a passion from God like Ive never felt, its such a beautiful thing. I dont feel alone I dont feel scared, I know that when I need somebody to just hold me and tell me that they love me, I know all I have to do is run to the father, his love for me is out of this world, his love for me is undescribable, his love for me is intense. When our relationship came to a stop I felt rejected I felt like my love wasnt good enough even though I prayed and prayed and prayed for him for 6years and Loved him like know other, he made me feel like I was nothing. Being rejected by the person you love most is the hardest thing in the world, knowing you gave up your life for them, and they just throw it in the trash, it hurts, its not fun. As I sat there in the water I compared this, He rejected me, will Jesus reject me? The thought of going to heaven and him saying ' I do not know you' and being cast into hell forever makes my heart race and my palms sweat and my mind thinking. Being rejected by the most loving and caring and breath taking person who gave it all because he loved me, and he loved you. His love is unexplable his love gos far beyond what we can think, he loved us enough to die and give it all. I would rather be rejected by a million guys and rejected by all my peers than to ever be rejected by the true deffintion of Love. My heart is stead fast on God, and my worship is all for his glory. That is true love, that is real love.  Rip my heart out and you will find the name of Jesus written all over it 

                                          

 'Im here to stay, nothing will ever seperate us and I know Im ok, you craddle me gently wrapped in your arms, Im home'

Tattoos & Heartbreak

                                                             What hurts worse?

 Well Ive just went through both, and well the pain is pretty equal until I layed down and had a needle pierce my skin lol, it hurt,  it was painful, the most awful pain ive ever felt in my life, But Im alive and well, Im shocked I didnt cry, I was just fine laying there sqeezing the hand of my friend, I dont think he was ok though lol. But tattoos arent fun and they werent made to be fun while getting them done if they were Id have a million already, but its always the end result thats worth it.

I Just had my heartbroke not to long ago, I never felt that kind of pain before and that hurt, it was like a stab in my heart, a stab to the emotions I had for him, the pain I couldnt bare I cried day and night, I couldnt sleep, I didnt eat for about 2weeks. I loved him with all my heart. He knew my feelings for him , he knew Id give anything to be with him, but he had enough, I wont go into detail about our relationship but we did fight, we did say things to each other, its gonna happen Im not perfect being my first relationship I thought I did pretty good as a girlfriend for the most part. We loved each other at one point, he was all I ever wanted. Just like my tattoo, Im still alive and Im well even though the first couple weeks without him I thought I was dying, But Im here by the grace of God. Soon after things were said to me I wasnt expecting and it hurt more than us breaking up, it was painful to hear these words that I thought would never come out of his mouth, it hurt bad and thats why im so upset sometimes. He moved on and doesnt care, and Ive moved on but still have some love left and my heart still cares about him.

With all that being said and now ill make my point, most of you have read my Love Story from God, I was scared of what people would think or say now that me and him are apart and after talking to some folks at church this is where I stand with this relationship, Im willing to change Im willing to do whatever it takes to be in his arms, and fight like ive never fought before, Im willing to do all this. But he isnt. So my point if he isnt willing to make an effort or support me and help me along this way or fight for a love that we had,  whats the point. Theres no easy in a relationship and thats what he wants, you have to fight and fight and fight. If you really cared and loved somebody like you said you did for the past 7months youd fight no matter what happend in the relationship or what was said or done. Its the past its still there, but we have to have a heart of Christ and forgive and love and move on. Its not just that he lost the love for me, its that he stopped caring and trying.  So maybe he isnt the one if he doesnt wanna fight, and doesnt believe, its gonna be his loss, Ill gain a great husband from God who is willing to fight for me.

God has put me in this place for a reason, Im not sure why yet but he has a plan for my life and thats all I can go with right now, I love Jesus with all my heart and Im never backing down from that, If he is the one for me God will bring us back together and well have a testimony like no other, But if he isnt God has placed a man in my life down the road for me who will love me and fight and keep pressing on no matter what has happen between us. But if he isnt willing to fight for me and this relationship then he never cared. Im trusting God more than I ever have in my life, he has the master plan to make me into who he wants me to be. He has my husband out there, I dont know the future for me and Trevor, only God does and no matter what I have to trust him and understand that what he has for me is only the best and will always be the best.

I have to remember Im not alone, My God will supply all my needs.

                                                What's your Passion?



  I thought I would open up about my calling & my passion to reach out. Music has always been a get away & on Septemeber 29, 2006 I was called into Music, 'I was like what God, me?' I had know idea what to do, So I sat around & did nothing for the longest time until I realized I needed to get started on my own then he would help me. So I sang in my uth groups worship team for awhile, then I went to uth conventions & sang, I won first place which meant I would go to a National Competition, called Fine Arts, this would take place in Detriot Michigan ! I was so excited, to make my point the worship there was so amazing! & mind you I was called into Music but wasnt sure I wanted a rock band like Flyleaf or Fireflight then on a Wednesday night at the worship there was a tug on my heart & I heard a voice say 'Worship Music' so in Detriot I was called into Worship to be a leader. I love music & my boyfriend loves music so this is a blessing. So I plan on doing alot of things with my music.

Homesless people have always been a passion of mine , as well as animal shelters I love helping people & being there for them & helping them when I get a chance, the smallest thing like passsing out water or praying for them & even giving them a hug, means so much to them & the smile on there face makes everything worth it. I love helping animals & doing what I can for them. I have a passion for cancer patients & people who dont have alot of self esteem I am planning on starting a campaign for Loving everybody & stop the judging I know what its like so I wanna do something about it! For Cancer I wanna do whatever it takes to find a cure, 3 people close to me I know have passed away from it, Im ready for a cure. Abortion I hate abortion & I want it to stop! Ill do whatever it takes to have this stopped its awful! theres always adoption.

Photography I plan on doing this because I love pictures & the meaning they bring, I wanna shoot bands, people , animals, anything you can think of. its my passion & im gonna do it! you cant stop me! Im ready to take on the world!

   'I was born to be somebody, aint nothin' ever gonna stop me'

                                                A letter of love

  
              My Dear Trevor,
                                          

                       You are my Sunshine on a rainy day,  you light up my darkend sky,  you are my everything and my life, I love you from the  moon to the stars and back again. My hope my light and my life. You have made me the happiest person alive, and I wouldnt want to spend forever any other way, but with you. You always make my heart smile everyday and the butterflies in my tummy flutter around everytime I see you. You give me that feeling that I know youll always be there for me know matter what.  You have been such a great support system, and I owe you so much more than I already give you. I love you forever and ever. Death cant even do us part, you are my answer to prayer, the love of my life.  My heart and soul are yours, Your stole my heart December 4, 2010 and I hope you never give it back, its yours to keep forever. I love you because you saw me when know one else did, and you gave me that chance ive always wanted. You give me so much, that I dont even deserve you , but I was so blessed to have you come into my life, and stay with me , with everything we've been through, I appericate you more than anything in the whole world , more than you will ever know. Youve given me self-esteem and self-confidence that ive never felt before.  I just want the whole world to know how lucky I am to have such a great and wonderful boyfriend like you. You are my everything. We have had some crazy times together our random adventues to wal-mart and best buy. I love spending every waking second with you. Your always in my thoughts, even though we do have our disagreements I know well always make it through. I love you so freakin much<3

                                                                    I love you for Infinity and beyond.

                                                                                         Love, Ashley.

                                   You dont know what love is!

                 Ive said that so many times in my life. I would see young couples saying 'Oh  how I love you, & all that sappy love crap I never had. I would always say 'You dont know what that is, you need to be married' Well  I was wrong. Since Ive been dating Trevor Ive felt a love like know other. I admit I was wrong know matter what the relationship or how old you are if you feel like you are truly head over heels for that person you will make the effort to stay with them. Forever. Which I plan on doing. In my blog 'My Love Story from God' I mentioned how I thought I would never hear the words I love you, or feel it in any way. Well Boy was I wrong. I honestly dont remember when Trevor said I love you, I just know we weren't dating & I was sitting in his truck, he was outside. But when he looked me in the eyes & said that, my heart literally skipped a beat, & I said it right back, I just knew he meant what he said, so did I. So know you dont need to be married to say I love you. So know matter who you are if its real & the spark is there & you mean it from the bottom of your heart, then I love you is perfectly fine. I just dont understand why people supposidly say I love you & then they break up. I can honestly say that I love Trevor from the moon to the stars & back again. My Uth Pastors Wife even said, 'I know you love him' but seeing on how long ive waited for him its obivously different. I waited 6 years for him, so yes Im madly in love with  him. But this is just a rant and venting session for me, but I do want to publicly apologize to those who I have said, you dont know what Love is, because maybe you do & at one point in your life you did know what love was. But I do love my Trevor Wane Hustead , Forever. I dont care what you say. HeisLove. <3

Your my Mario & my Hero <3

Im so done with Cancer.

I HATE CANCER,  I HATE CANCER,  I HATE CANCER,  I HATE CANCER!!!

Cancer, is a nasty nasty nasty disease and Im sick and tired of it,  after seeing 3 of the people I love most suffer and die from it, Ive had enough I always said I would do whatever it takes to help, heck even stop Cancer and find a cure. All things are Possible with GOD, right. 

I lost my Aunt Tweet to cancer 12-23-08, and it was the hardest thing Ive been through, and watching her suffer is what I hated most We were in the hospice house and she was talking and doing just fine and she says 'Hey ashley, hand me that teddy bear over there', so I did she gave it to me, and said ' I want you to have this' I literally felt my heart break inside because she knew and I knew, I still have that teddy bear and I look at it everyday, few days later I walked in there and I didnt realize how bad it was and I lost it, crying everywhere, and she couldnt talk, it was the end and I hated that thought, and I went to leave getting close to her, balling my eyes out, and the words 'I love you' slowly came out of my mouth and all of a sudden I hear 'I love you' back and I was shocked and stunned because she couldnt talk, and 'I love you' were our last words and after I got the call she passed, I had  a peace about it, and didnt really cry as much because my Pastor at my church prayed with her, and she came to know Christ so it made it 100x better knowing Ill see her again, and shes with her husband, who I miss dearly as well, I would say he was my fav, and I was super close to him. Aunt Tweet, I love you and I miss you tons, but I know your happy, I know you playing with all those puppies up there, Im sure sugar [my dog we bought from her]  is happy to see you to :)  theres not one day I go without thinking about you, Ill see one day, you and Uncle Duke, I love you both very much with all my heart <3

The 2nd life it took was my awesome Science teacher in High School, Mr. Kiriluk, that man stood up for anybody, he was one of my fav teachers and helped anybody he could, He was a smart man, he was one of the funniest guys I knew, and knowbody saw it even coming, it just hit like a hurricane, at first it wasnt that bad, and we prayed,  because prayer gos far, and it went away, nothing there, the Doctors couldnt find anything, I cant explain the excitment I got, heck even his family and friends, then a few months later hes on his death bed, Im just like what the heck youve got to be kidding me? I told my brother and we actually went to see him before he passed away the next day, I was preparing myself because I already have been through this with my Aunt, and everybody who truly knows me knows Im a very very emotional person, and cry at anything.. But it failed and I saw him there and it pretty much was death I was staring at once again, and I was furious, I told myself I was gonna do something, and as we were leaving I hugged him and said I loved him with tears flowing out of my eyes like Niagra falls, even though he didnt know,  and we left,  the next day,  He was with the awesome presence of Jesus, and I was crushed even though I knew it was coming I didnt wanna face it again, but once again I had a peace because I know hes with Jesus, Im sure hes up there building rockets and shooting them off :) and asking tons of questions hes always wanted to. Mr. Kiriluk, you left a huge impact on not only me, but everybody you knew, I miss you more and more everyday and as I pass your house I pray for your family. I love you, and I cant wait to see you again <3


The 3rd life it took was a beautiful lady named Jan P.  Jan, was a walking Jesus, she loved him more than anything, never missing a sunday or a wednesday night, always sitting up front with her husband Al, listening to the message being given, she was a true woman of God, and always helped helping people,  she would give you the shirt off her back and do anything for you, what I loved about Mrs. Jan, was her kind spirit, and willingness to do anything even if she was sick, I would walk in the church and she would always be sitting in the chair and she always would say 'Hey Miss Ashley, how are you? or 'You are such a beautiful young lady' and 'You have an awesome voice you keep singing for Jesus'  I miss that the most, I cant believe this happened and I believe in my whole heart this wasnt her time, I wasnt expecting this sweet lady to just get sideswiped with freaking Cancer, none of my family or friends, I hate it, Jan was in her 70's and he husband is as well, and you couldnt tell by looking at them, very healthy active people, and just bam cancer hits her, and I told everybody around me going to the hospice house I have prepared myself since Ive been through this 3 times, and go figure its the same Hospice house my Aunt and Science teacher passed away in. We walked into her room, and there she is, beautiful as ever, and I lost it, and I promised myself I wouldnt cry, but we all know that never works out like we would like it to. I was leaving and I actually wasnt gonna see her but Im glad I did, because I kinda knew this was it, I hugged her, and kissed her on her head and said 'I love you' and that was it. Few days later shes with Jesus, in her new body having the time of her life. Mrs. Jan, I love and I miss you, I will miss your kind sweet spirit every Sunday or hugging you, you are missed, but I will see you again I love you <3


My point being this, after seeing all 3 people I love suffer and die, Ive seriously have had enough, and Im gonna do something about it to raise money. I promise you this, Ive never cried so much in my life writing a blog, I miss you guys so much, I love you all, and Im gonna do something about this, In memory of you all, you guys have made a huge impact in my life, and Im not gonna stop until theres a cure! Ill see you one day, I love you <3



                                                  DREAM. LOVE. CURE.

  Well let me tell ya about my best friend[s]

 , Joseph, Ryan B, and Devin, chillest guys ever, I love you guys so much,  you guys are just like my brothers and I love you more than life itself, if you ever need me Im here, <3 you guys are awesome.

Ryan making our movies, and taking retarded pictures is the highlight of my life when im with you, you are my best friend forever, I GOT A SWITCHBLADE! HIDE YA KIDS, HIDE YA WIFE, & HIDE YA HUSBANDS CAUSE THEY RAPIN' ERRYBODY OUT HERE! Im glad I have a friend like you to make my life wayy more exciting than it is! love you!

Joseph, weve grown up together since we were babies pretty much I love you so much, and you will always be my best friend, Know matter what, stay focused on the things that matter, and be yourself, dont let friends or the world change you! love you<3

 Devin, you are seriously one of my best friends, I love you so much, you are awesome and I love your hair, you know im here if you need anything, dont ever listen to what people say, or listen to what the world has to offer, you are perfect the way you are. I love you<3

Nikki, you are my best friend, the shoulder I can cry on, and vent to, even though your far away from me, I miss you dearly and I miss your kind words and the loving thoughts and your warm hugs, thanks to internet I can still get all that but hugs :[! Nikki, I remember to this day finding out about Vincent, and I didnt know who you were, and you let me cry on your shoulder, right there I new we were gonna last, and be friends forever, I miss you with all my heart, and I love you, when we were talking those 8minutes we just meet, we had know idea that those 8minutes would turn into a life time of friendship, you are truly a wonderful and beautiful person, from the inside out, you are more than a friend, your my little sister, and I miss you more than youll ever know, I will visit you<3



Krissy, girl you have a good head on your shoulders, you are a tremendous writer, and I cant wait to see where God takes you in life with that, thank you for always being straight forward, I love you girl, you know im always here. know matter what people say you are gorgeous and your prince will come one day, and you will go far with your writing<3

Ashley[fag face] Moore, haha. best friends since who knows when,  you make me smile more than anything I love our friendship and I cherish you as a friend, I miss writing in your locker, haha, we need to hang out again and have a sleep over that was to much funn, thanks for always being there for me, our friendship song will always be 'Hey there Delilah' <3

Lesley, you are so flawless, you are super gorgeous! and are smarter than anybody I know, haha! we need to hang out more like we use to, and have our double date with our men watching Lord of the Rings on blu ray, lol. thank you for being my friend and helping me with situations ive been through and are going through! you are awesome, love you girl :)

Lindseyloo! my love, weve been through it all I think haha, you are very close to my heart as a friend, letting me vent, and you dont realize how much your self esteem blogs or post on facebook or even your words of encourgment to me, mean more to me more than youll ever know, having some one like you in my life, is the best thing I could ever ask for, I love you dearly and always will <3

you guys will always have a friend in me :)

                                                          This is my Love Story from God

    6 year ago you would have never heard the words 'I loveyou' come from my mouth or I have a boyfriend, Its still weird saying it  and im still not use to it, after 1month of dating.  So most of you dont know my 'Love Story to GOD'  So here ya go, so guys, such a wonderful topic to talk about right, girls? of course! so I think when all girls are little we all dream of our wedding, whos coming, what bridesmaids, and maid of honor, oh and of course prince charming :) Well when I was about 10ish, I took on a very  BIG  commitment and at first I was like this is gonna be kool, im different, and that was my promise ring. coolest thing I still own to this day and I have never taken it off, about 8years ive worn it, and it wont come off until im married it says 1thes4:3-4 check it out,I wear this on my ring finger, This promise I made was NOT to have sexx until Im married and I plan to stick with this promise. yes this means Im a Virgin and im very Proud to be. Theres a quote that says 'Being a virgin in this day and age is something to be proud of, your like a Unicorn' coolest quote ever! and I use it to this day. enough about that, heres my Love Story, by God :) Soooo 14 comes around for me, Guys are the coolest thing on earth am I right? and I wanted to know about more these guys. I never had the best past with guys or self-esteem, so I got hurt A lot, like emotionally hurt, and I still am, So at 14 I gave up, and lost all respect for guys, until One day I said why not give this to God, soo at 14 years of age, I said, my first boyfriend is gonna be the one I marry, Im gonna know, and my 'furture husband' is gonna know, we were meant to be together because God, being God, would let him know... hold up, I know you still stuck on the 'first boyfriend, marriage' thing, girl you crazzyy, nahh, its loggical, God+Me+Mystery boyfriend/Husband/ = perfect life. was this wait a long time yes, very much so, and most of who know me, I HATE WAITING! it sucks. so guess what, I had to wait, God does have a sence of humor, So from at 14 making another HUGE commitment I took this serious, and told only a few people, did I get laughed at yes, did people say there are no guys like that, yes. did they put me down, yes, did I care NO, Me and God knew my game plan, and it was a dang good one, I saw guys who I wanted to be my boyfriend/husband like Justin Bieber ;] lol, no really, I did, and I new in my heart they werent, so after praying for a very long long long long long long freakin 6 years guess what! I GOT A BOYFRIEND!!! HIP HIP HOORAY!, and may I add hes very wonderful, and I deff wasnt use to someone wanting to be around me, or taking me out, or having someone who made me happy for once in my  life, and who was actually nice, and treated me like I should be, for that matter any girl. Hes my life, and I seriously have never been this happy in my life, and so most of you are wondering how we met, and how I told him he was gonna be my 'husband' haha. its a great story. One day on facebook I get an add from 'Trevor Hustead' I was gonna deny it, and he sent me a message, me thinking its some guy who just wants in my pants or wants dirty pictures, or just to talk, well I was totally wrong, we know a mutal friend, and he saw I liked the same bands and my profile picture was pretty at the time, I was legal age haha, and I was single!!! so we talked a little in October, and then it faded a little then I brought it back sometime in the first of November, and we talked and talked and talked non stop, soo he came to church one sunday, I had butterflies like no other, so excited to meet him yet, so nervous, thinking he wont think the same or anything, and so we talked in person went to mexican with our uth pastors and talked, and we grew together in the month, and so we made the decison well techinally God did, that we were meant to be, were so differnet, thats why we go together so well and thats how we met, now my 'Husband' haha I was blunt about it, he had girlfriends in the past, and so this was kinda a shocker, to most people it is, and I said, ya know I have this commitment to Jesus that , My first boyfriend will be the one I marry, he was taken back a little and said 'Thats Cool' haha, typical guy right, He said it was different because no girl has ever said that, obiviously,   and so he got use to it, and he is my first boyfriend mind you, obivously, so I decided to ask him one day when you saw me for the first time what were you thinking his exact words, 'LOVE AT FIRST SITE' seriously I cry everytime I time I think about it, and It brought tears to my eyes writing this, hearing that just made me think maybe all guys arent alike, and Trevor deff proved that wrong, hes not, I thought dannggg all guys arent like this, and he proved me wrong big time,  hes made me so happy I cant explain it, and all my friends new I was wanting a boyfriend bad, but Trevor has made me think there is somebody out there for everybody know matter who you are, if it takes waiting 6 years do it, dont get a boyfriend/girlfriend cause everybody has one, do I miss being single heckkkk no son, woudnt trade it for anything in this world. Now your wondering how did he ask you out! omg! tears again, sweetest way ever, I new when he was gonna ask me out cause we planned it, haha ruins everything right? nahh, it was exciting, we hung out on Saturday December 4th 2010, [his birthday]   I couldnt sleep for days, So we hung out at the mall , I met 'uncle caleb' his lead singer for his band,'This Changes Everything' I call him that because he volunteed to be the uncle to my children that I dont have yet, I approved  haha. So Uncle Caleb works at A&F, we talked then left, met Ashley Meador there, she was more excited than I was, and Saw Amanda Carver there, so it was time to leave ooooo my tummy was turning in so many nots, haha, he covered my head up and took me to the this 'secret spot' where he was gonna ask me, me bein me, didnt wanna see so I made him get outta his truck I un-covered my head, and I was in shock like a weird why are we here shock, it was the church parking lot, since we couldnt go inside it was closed  I said 'Ummm why are we here' [get your tissues out] he said 'This is where I first laid eyes on you and I new we were meant to be, so Ashley Nicole Jenkins, will you go out with me' of course I said yes! I felt like I was standing on top of the world, me Ashley Jenkins, not single anymore I like that, haha! so he ask me out on his birthday because he said 'He wanted me for his birthday' I know cute, right?! I also made one more  BIG, commitment, to Trevor and to myself, I said, if anything were to happen to you, like death, or something tragic, I promise you this, I will not date anyone again, he said I want you to be happy, I said listen your my one true love, from God, you make me happy, there is no one like you, and never will be, I cant replace anybody like you, and Im sticking to this, I love him so much, and could never replace him.  Well thats my love story from God, super amazing, and he did just fine, so with all that said, no matter what God has your furture spouse ready, but are you gonna wait and pray, or just date because you want to, or because eveyrbodys doing it, Im serious pray about it, I love bragging about Trevor and  how we met, and my commitment to God, I feel like I have the right to, and itll help who ever reads this!, but thank you for reading this, ive wanted to tell people for a long time, he is my prince, and always will be <3,. with that being said, Trevor W. Hustead, thank you for making me the happiest girl in the world, I cant wait until forever, you are awesome, and I love you more than life its self! Thank you for everthing, and like I always tell you, 'I love you because you saw me when know one else did,' and I cant thank you enough for that chance, <3 I love you Sunshine! 12-4-10 - Forever :)<3!  ps, and we WILL live happily ever after, I promise you this :)