Tattoos & Heartbreak

                                                             What hurts worse?

 Well Ive just went through both, and well the pain is pretty equal until I layed down and had a needle pierce my skin lol, it hurt,  it was painful, the most awful pain ive ever felt in my life, But Im alive and well, Im shocked I didnt cry, I was just fine laying there sqeezing the hand of my friend, I dont think he was ok though lol. But tattoos arent fun and they werent made to be fun while getting them done if they were Id have a million already, but its always the end result thats worth it.

I Just had my heartbroke not to long ago, I never felt that kind of pain before and that hurt, it was like a stab in my heart, a stab to the emotions I had for him, the pain I couldnt bare I cried day and night, I couldnt sleep, I didnt eat for about 2weeks. I loved him with all my heart. He knew my feelings for him , he knew Id give anything to be with him, but he had enough, I wont go into detail about our relationship but we did fight, we did say things to each other, its gonna happen Im not perfect being my first relationship I thought I did pretty good as a girlfriend for the most part. We loved each other at one point, he was all I ever wanted. Just like my tattoo, Im still alive and Im well even though the first couple weeks without him I thought I was dying, But Im here by the grace of God. Soon after things were said to me I wasnt expecting and it hurt more than us breaking up, it was painful to hear these words that I thought would never come out of his mouth, it hurt bad and thats why im so upset sometimes. He moved on and doesnt care, and Ive moved on but still have some love left and my heart still cares about him.

With all that being said and now ill make my point, most of you have read my Love Story from God, I was scared of what people would think or say now that me and him are apart and after talking to some folks at church this is where I stand with this relationship, Im willing to change Im willing to do whatever it takes to be in his arms, and fight like ive never fought before, Im willing to do all this. But he isnt. So my point if he isnt willing to make an effort or support me and help me along this way or fight for a love that we had,  whats the point. Theres no easy in a relationship and thats what he wants, you have to fight and fight and fight. If you really cared and loved somebody like you said you did for the past 7months youd fight no matter what happend in the relationship or what was said or done. Its the past its still there, but we have to have a heart of Christ and forgive and love and move on. Its not just that he lost the love for me, its that he stopped caring and trying.  So maybe he isnt the one if he doesnt wanna fight, and doesnt believe, its gonna be his loss, Ill gain a great husband from God who is willing to fight for me.

God has put me in this place for a reason, Im not sure why yet but he has a plan for my life and thats all I can go with right now, I love Jesus with all my heart and Im never backing down from that, If he is the one for me God will bring us back together and well have a testimony like no other, But if he isnt God has placed a man in my life down the road for me who will love me and fight and keep pressing on no matter what has happen between us. But if he isnt willing to fight for me and this relationship then he never cared. Im trusting God more than I ever have in my life, he has the master plan to make me into who he wants me to be. He has my husband out there, I dont know the future for me and Trevor, only God does and no matter what I have to trust him and understand that what he has for me is only the best and will always be the best.

I have to remember Im not alone, My God will supply all my needs.