I'm not having a big wedding, Period.

                          

 At first I was so excited to get married ( still am ) and have this huge wedding and have everybody brag about it and how I looked that day and think oh my gosh they have money to buy all this stuff.

 Well being excited at the time ( still am)  I had all these thoughts but now that I think about it I talked to Justin today I said you know what I dont want a big wedding its not about how much we spend, the money, the dress how many people what decorations Its about who Im marrying the real reason.

 Im marrying my best friend someone who loves me past my flaws , loving me for me & despite my past.  Yes I want a wedding with the Peacock themed and auqa blue , purple, & black colors and I want the dress Ive been wanting.

But its not about being flashy and having all these things Marrying my best friend is what its about to me, Its all about Love, and Im happy with this choice and Justin thinks the same.

 So no were not having a big wedding and frankly dont want to. It about getting together and letting people know Im finally happy and this is the love of my life, besides Jesus, my mom/dad and animals :p.

 But this is who I trust, who I love, who I want to spend the rest of my life with, Justin is my forever. The folks we do invite just remember this is who makes me happy, who I love  & who loves me for me and wants to be my protector when know one else can.

This is a gathering of us getting people together and proclaming our love to the world. I cant wait to marry this guy. Im so excited! I love you Justin Ray Crowder <3



October 8, 2012, be there for this awesome moment <3 :) 

You'll be the prince & I'll be the princess, it's a love story <3

G-Maws are the best

         Such a beautiful Angel

                                               


 I had such a beautiful G-Maw, she was a tough little cracker. She has/was always there for me, she was my best friend, After she passed away I realized and couldnt believe how much I could love one person.  I miss her everyday she left a Legacy that no one will ever compare to, she had such a beautiful soul and wasnt scared of anyone. She taught me so much I cant even begin to explain.

She was my only Grandparent so I loved her with a lot of love, I remember always going to her house and spending the night I was about 7 and I slept on the floor beside her bed I always wore socks to beds no matter what, and when I woke up I would always have one sock on and we picked up the blankets and would shake them no sock it always happend and we would laugh and laugh and the next time it happen it would be one sock or both and just look at each other and laugh ourself silly. 

My G-Maw was my best friend and had such a loving, giving and caring spirit. Anyone who came across her was blessed and lucky to know her. I lost a big part of me January 11, 2012, she was a New Years Baby so it was 10 days after her birthday she went to be with Jesus and her son, and daughter in law.

 I dont know how its possible to love someone so much but I did, I miss her so much. I wish I could explain the love and what she did for me in words but there would be to many and It would be impossible

 I have no more G-Parents she was my only one and I think all my love for the ones I didnt have it all went to her, I love her so much.

Im sure Ive repeated myself over and over but my G-Maw made a huge impact on my life and I still cant belive shes gone. I know shes so happy and isnt in her motor scooter unless she feels like running somebodys feet over, lol.

I know shes healthy , happy, and jumping with joy. Im glad and happy shes not in pain but it hurts so bad to know shes not here and I cant call her or talk to her.

Ive cried over 500x writing this. I cant wait to see her again, itll be the happiest day of my life.  I love and miss you G-Maw everyday, but I know Ill see you soon <3 Until then, its not goodbye, its see ya later <3

she always loved Elvis and thought he was so cute :) Always said she was gonna marry him :)

Stop Judging More Loving

                                              I found my true love                                         
                                                           
                                                                now listen!


                      I can finally write how I really feel.  It seems most church folk or so called 'religious' folk judge more based on what Ive done. I have a tattoo,(many more coming)  a nose ring and I moved in with my boyfriend. Im sorry for those Ive let down, I really am but Im not playing the 'sorry card' anymore My new saying is ' Stop Judging More Loving. ' I would say only 5 not even that know truly about my past and what hell ive been through. Ive only had 2 boyfriends, My Ex & Justin who Im going to marry in Oct, Im pretty excited about it, was it the best idea I've ever had? NO, I realize that I hurt a lot of people and they dont know why I did it, most had ideas because I got really hurt by my Ex so they think I just jumped in to fast and thought I was scared. I love Justin Ray Crowder with my whole heart. The way I moved in wasnt the best I just left on a wednesday and left my dad a note saying im gone, Dad if you read this Im sorry I hurt you and Im sorry I left you like that, I love you with everything You're the best daddy in the world, and I hope you forgive me for what I did to you and find it in your heart to accept Justin into the family and love him like you love me. Mom Im sorry I let you down I know I did, I love you with everything in me, You are such a great role model and Im proud to brag about you going to college and being such a beast on the deans list. I hope you can accept Justin into the family.  I love you so much. Joshua, you may never read this but know I love you , and Im sorry if I hurt you like I did I hope you can accept Justin as well. You're a great brother. I dont blame my family for being upset with me, I understand that. My chuch folks more judging comes from them then anybody I have ever seen, My parents raised me just right, I know the choices I made I have to answer for everything Ive done, Justin is such a great guy who treats me like a princess and how a woman should be treated he protects me like im the last piece of gold on the planet. Ones who have looked down upon me or say Im a bad influence im sorry you feel that way im still the Ashley Nicole Jenkins you knew before I moved in with him. It hurts I get know support for me being finally happy with someone and being happy in general. Im getting married in Oct and thats all ive ever wanted, the feeling of knowing that someone who truly loves me and looks past all my flaws and sees my heart and who I really am. Who loves me on my bad days and will always be there. Im happy, and all I wish is that my family, friends etc would just be happy even if you dont agree! IM SO FREAKIN HAPPY. You guys dont realize that, or what Ive been through, so this is so exciting for me, someone who finally loves me! :) Justin isnt the bad guy neither am I even though I understand how it can be me. All I ask is for some more love and support from everyone.
 


Date he asked me out. October 8, 2011
Date he asked me to marry him. December 15, 2011
Date we become a husband/wife. October 8, 2012

 This Love is OURS <3

   I love you Justin Ray Crowder <3